Light-skinned-ed Girl

I made one change today . . .

I took a workout class: Barre 3.  Have you tried it? I was so anxious about going, but my friend prodded me to attend with her.  Had she shown up a couple minutes later than she did, I was definitely going to flee.  But I stayed and I was a bundle of anxiety.  The other students were all young, lithe, flexible, and did I mention young?  I'm not at all flexible, or bendy, and on the scale of lithe to husky I'm definitely on the husky side at this point.  They all wore lovely (tight) leggings and tank tops (without bras).  I was in two shirts, a jacket, two sports bras and my lounge pants that have the perfect amount of stretch.  I knew I was out of my league.  But when the class started I took a breath.  Took a good look at myself in the mirror and thought: even if I do it all wrong, at least I will have tried.  And no matter how silly I look, I'll have given myself the best chance I can today to have a productive workout that makes a difference in how I feel about my body.

Lo and behold, I did make it through.  I struggled and I shook.  And at one point I was certain that I was involuntarily twerking (they are real big into shaky muscle failure which is kind of scary but also kind of cool).  But then the class was over and I was glad.  I was proud of myself that I made that change today.  I may even try another class there next week.  Who knows?

Getting Back to the Mat: Yoga is Still Scary

Last week I got back to the yoga mat again after several months of paying a monthly subscription to Yogaglo without using it.  Yes, truth be told it was the pressure of knowing how much money I was wasting not using the subscription that got me back to doing a yoga session.

Now don't get me wrong: I'm not a workout-phobe.  Actually, I really enjoy working out: cardio and weightlifting, but when it comes to yoga and stretching I have to bribe myself to show up.

So I finally got myself to the yoga mat and chose a restorative yoga class focused on opening up the hips taught by Felicia Tomasko.  She has a really soothing way about her.  She's all about ease, and now, and well breath.  That's where it almost all fell apart for me though--on the breath part.

I swear the first five minutes of the session we were just on our backs breathing.  A sense of panic rose up in me and I literally thought: "I don't know how to do this!"  And then I started to laugh because I realized what I was saying to myself was: I don't know how to breathe.  I don't know how to breathe in stillness.  

After that I settled into the session which was mostly supine and I think I would even say I enjoyed the rest of the hour.  The yoga class was what I call classic "old people's yoga" -- very slow and very simple, but dagnabit if I didn't feel sore the next day afterall.

So, I'm reporting here about this experience so I will feel the social pressure to return to the yoga mat again this afternoon as I had promised myself.  I would happily accept any words of encouragement to cheer me on! 

Yoga Scares Me Still

And I just fled from a yoga class. :(

I'm not entirely new to yoga. 

There was a stretch of about two years in my early thirties that I attended two to three classes a week.  It was what I called "old people" yoga; very gentle, mostly seated, lots of breathing.  It worked for me.  I increased my flexibility and focus and decreased my anxiety.  Then my teacher left.

I found another great teacher a couple of years later, but then my travel schedule picked up and I didn't go as regularly as I wanted.  So I secretly taped the class and have used that class whenever I've been on the road and had time to do yoga.  So in my yoga life, such as it is, it's always the week before Columbus Day!

I've been having trouble sitting and know it would help if I stretched more. So in the interest of stretching and stretching myself I ventured to this class today -- my first in more than a year.

And this is what I know: yoga scares me still.  In 2009, I did a 30-day yoga practice challenge.  I must have been far hardier then or a lot more bendy. 

So how do I get back to the mat without the sense of not just anxiety but terror?  I have my tape still, but I think I need something that challenges me without scaring me to death.  Suggestions?  Did I mention I'm not flexible at all?

On Transformation

"Transformation is not a future event, but a present activity." Jillian Michaels

On Missing Bread

So, I finally got serious in the last two weeks with the exercise and weight loss regimen again.  (It is so much easier to focus on healthy living when my days are regular and I'm off the road.)

I have been missing bread doing my low-carb diet.  But I have found a wonderful alternative and a great recipe for a low-carb grilled cheese sandwich.  True, it doesn't look like much, but this little sandwich makes me happy and it has only 5 net carbs.

The "bread" recipe is inspired by the muffin in a minute recipes (muffins that are made in the microwave).

1/4 cup milled flax seed

1 tablespoon grated parmesan cheese

1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar

1/4 of a 1/4 tsp baking soda

1 tsp butter

1 egg

Stir the dry ingredients.  Then add butter and egg.  Mix well.  Pour in microwave safe dish (square if you can).  Cook in microwave for 1 minute.  Slice bread lengthwise and continue with the regular grilled cheese making steps.  (Except I don't use any more butter.)  I also use fat-free cheese and add chia seeds to the mix as well.  I'm going to try a version with just egg white to cut down on the fat as well.  Try it.  It's actually pretty tasty.

 

The Regimen Has Begun: Dieting Before the New Year

I will confess: I let it all go while I was on the road for the last few weeks--heck, I let it all go for the last couple of years as I toured.

I can say that I didn't meet a plate of french fries, or a plate of pasta I didn't like since 2009.  And then the workouts: well, let's just say that even though I brought that awesome foldable yoga mat with me everywhere as well as my workout wear . . . those things didn't often get used.  It's a hair thing too.  I like to travel with my hair straight so I don't get that bird's nest of matted curls when I'm on the plane (not to mention traveling with wet hair); and if I sweat, well then my hair isn't straight and then . . . -- well, as you can tell I had a bunch of "reasons" that I ended up packing on the pounds.

This week, I think I have broken the cycle!

1.  I am officially "off the road."  Whew!  As much fun as it was, it was impossible to stick to a good diet and exercise regimen on my hectic travel schedule.

2.  I have gone low-carb (this is day 4) and I think I can stick with it for a few months with some new additions to my diet.  (E.g. Harmonized Protein Powder in iced coffee; Pasta Slim noodles; and more water than I am comfortable drinking when I am on the road if you know what I mean!)

3. I'm getting almost as intense a workout as I would working out with a trainer.  I bought a timer app for my phone that allows me to do Tabata intervals.  (More about that in another post.)  The timer does a visual countdown, but also has a voice prompt that says "Ready?"in a really energizing way and then the bell rings for the next round.  I'm getting my butt kicked by a timer voice!  It's great!

So wish me luck on this journey.  I'm looking at Feb. 1 as my goal weight deadline.  Yup, I said it out loud: that means accountability.  See you in the gym!

WoYoPracMo Comes to an End

The month-long yoga challenge ends tomorrow and I'm not able to touch my toes.  When I started the month I felt enthusiastic and thought I was dedicated to achieving my goal.  I did challenge myself--my comfort level, my ability to do new poses--in those first couple of weeks.  But the last two weeks, I've put in the minimum amount of time for yoga each day.  That has meant sitting and breathing for ten minutes each day.  The first days were a challenge: the sitting still.  The last few days the challenge has been getting to the sitting.  How hard could it be to schedule ten minutes of breathing each day?  For me, very difficult.  I've learned a lot of about my own resistance.  I've learned that sitting and breathing actually feels good once I'm done.  I think I may even have strengthened the muscles in my lower back--just a little.  I'd like to get on track with some more power yoga sessions, but no pronouncements here.  But if there are results -- I promise to report back.  How did the challenge go for you?

Sparkpeople.com

I need a spark to get this fitness thing going.  So I went back to my nutritionist today and got a shock.  How did I get to weigh so much?  And I've been working out and been "good."  But now I am going to have to keep track.  So I joined Sparkpeople.  It's free --and it's a weight, food, fitness tracker.  Anybody want to join me?

WoYoPracMo: The Longest Challenge Ever

"Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured." ~B.K.S. Iyengar

I thought I would get to touch my toes by month's end by doing this challenge.  Instead, I am learning a lesson in how to be still, and how to slow down.  I don't like still and I don't like slow.  But I guess these ways of being are sometimes necessary.  I have been doing a ten-minute seated meditation for the last several days--not the power yoga I imagined I would.  Still, I feel like I am working new muscles, and maybe changing a little bit--my back doesn't ache as much and my legs flop open just a little more.  And then there is my mind--which has, at some miraculous moments, felt connected to my breath.  So connected that I felt like my body was a kite and if a strong wind came I could sail through the air.

WoYoPracMo Update

I am still doing the challenge, but not with the gusto of the first days.  For the last few days, the practice has been 10-15 minutes of poses OR breathing.  I noticed that I don't breathe very much while I move.  Not good.  I feel a little disappointed with myself in that I haven't carved out more time for the practice.  Tomorrow, I plan to do some power yoga with a Brian Kest DVD.  Hold me to it. And why is January such a long month.  There are still 16 days to go!