Light-skinned-ed Girl

Thoughts on Blogging Every Day for a Year: Part 2

This is it for 2008!  I can't believe I really did it: a blog post for every single day of 2008! It was as difficult as training for and running the marathon and as important to me as writing my book.  And I did it--thanks for joining me on the ride!  As promised, here's a list of some of my favorite posts and hopefully some of yours:

Most Popular Posts (determined by the number of comments/emails)

• Black Mothers of Biracial Children: We Need Your Voices: This post got a few comments initially, but sometime in late October/early November when I was very focused on my book revision deadline the commentary really picked up.  I didn't have the time to reach out to everyone who commented then, but I hope if you're out there, you'll come back again and share more of your thoughts.  I was also particularly touched by the story shared by Shannon in that comment thread.  Shannon--I'm still sending you good thoughts!
• You Really Are Black.   Yup, that post about sums it up for me. 
• Biracial HairInterview with Teri LaFlesh:  Nothing can cause a ruckus like talking about hair and women of color.  I LOVED this interview with Teri.  You will love not only her haircare tips, but her blog.
• Carly Simon is Kind of Black; and More on Carly Simon:  People love Carly Simon.  People are intrigued by her past.  What else can I say?

My Favorite Posts (determined by ME)

• Mixed Experience History Month posts:  Guys, you have no idea how much energy this took out of me.  But I am committed to bringing the history of the Mixed experience to light.  Mixed people and families didn't just happen because of the 1960s Free Love Movement!  May 2009 I will pack this blog with more profiles of the Mixed experience.  Tune in.  Oh, and us chicks of Mixed Chicks Chat will be bringing you 365 Days of the Mixed Minute video-style.  More on that in the coming days!
• Are Those Your Eyes? series: I really liked writing about this.  Because really, where else could I?  The fact that I have light eyes and brown skin is central to my biracial/bicultural identity.  It's like people see the combo and have permission to ask that familiar question: what are you?  My favorite post though was the one about Niece.  Look for more of these in 2009.
• Friendship & Loneliness: This was a post I really didn't mean to write.  But it was during a melancholy phase and it concerned me.  What is required to be a good friend?  I am not certain that I have been one in the last couple of years.  In fact, I have been a selfish bastard with my time--hyper-focused on my writing and the Festival and MCC.  I have "lost" some dear friends I think because of it in the last couple of years--folks who have gone radio-silent on me.  I hope they show up again at some point.  I miss them. 
• Nephew Asks: Obama is Biracial?: The world is changing.  I have to acknowledge it!
• Animal Posts: Pizotes, Lemurs, Cows:  I love the animal posts. 
• The Anniversary of My Dad's Death: A really personal post, but it was all that was on my mind.  I wanted to share with all of you a photo of the handsome man I knew as my father.

Thanks so much for reading.  You guys have been truly awesome.  I may or may not be back tomorrow, but I promise I will be back soon!  This is Light-skinned-ed Girl signing out for 2008.  Bringing in the New Year with a bang!

Thoughts on a Year of Blogging Every Single Day: Part 1

Maybe you guys noticed?  I have posted every single day of 2008! 

I started the task as a New Year's resolution.  I am terrible at New Year's resolutions--like losing the last ten pounds (I've done that three times, maybe this year will be the fourth!), and cleaning out my closets, and those kinds of things.  I really didn't expect that I would follow through with this resolution either--but look at me!  With just one more post to go in 2008, barring any calamity, it looks like I've followed through.

At first, I tried to focus my posts on biracial and bicultural identity.  That's my Light-skinned-ed Girl thing!  And I think I did focus on that topic much of the time--it's the biggest cloud tag for this blog.  I had a lot of help with that thanks to President-Elect Obama's ascension.  Biracial biracial biracial.  Everybody is talking about it now!

But I found that if I was going to write every single day, I had to incorporate all of my me-ness -- the whole writer thing (I know I bored you to death with the whole cow, bug, Wyoming sky thing--but that's all I had), the travel (Costa Rica, Sweden, Denmark, Hawaii, Peru--some of you must have wondered how it was I got so many vacation days), and then all the random stuff: my beloved bendy straws, and Moleskine, many biracial hair posts, and other obsessions.  As I wrote more and more about all of the things that interested or concerned me, I started to make myself more whole.  The blog became more of a public-personal journal--not really an author platform, or a niche site--just a little place folks could go to learn about what was on my mind.  I know: Yawn.  But for me the result was quite powerful.  Because the thing was: you responded!  Yes, I was obsessed with my stats, (which have dwindled to the pre-2008 days again, ah well!) but I was moved by your comments and emails!  Thank you!

I've received so many wonderful messages from people who essentially write that they are glad to have found the blog because it makes them feel less alone in their similar struggles.  Your emails and comments have made me feel the same way.  This year of blogging has made me believe that--however small the "market" is--it is worth sharing the thoughts and ideas that are important to me.

I'm not sure what this blog will look like in 2009.  There is a part of me that wants to take a good long break.  The daily stresses of finding something to say, much less finding a good internet connection (Costa Rican jungle, Macchu Picchu, and strangely: Wyoming!) are stresses I would gladly give up.  But I also don't want to give up my voice.  It's quite used to saying something--anything--now, thank you very much!  But I'm not sure that I'll be weighing in every single day of 2009.

The coming year adds a whole new dimension to my writing life too.  My book, my little book, will finally be on bookshelves in the Fall.  (Did I tell you it's birth date?  October 20, 2009--does that mean it's a Virgo?)  And I've got to get a move on with the next one -- I want to strike while the iron's hot.  So, I have to figure out how the blog fits into what I want for my writing and also for me.

Tomorrow: last post of 2008.  I'll countdown my favorite posts and comments.  Maybe you have some favorites too? 

Author Photos Take 2: The Stuff No One Tells You

1.  If you think you want to lose weight before you take a photo that you will have to see forever and ever over and over again, hire the trainer; go low-carb; or whatever your diet style is six months before you hand in the final draft to the publisher.  Your publisher will undoubtedly request the photos in a two to four week time frame.  You will have known, but you will have forgotten.  And it is the holidays and there is no hope so you just go ahead and have the photos taken all the while swearing that by the time the book tour starts you'll have lost the weight!

2.  If you are not comfortable having your picture taken, go through magazines and tear out photos of models doing things with their faces, that you want to do.  Practice doing those things with your face.  Better yet, practice with a self-timer photo.  To the right you see a self-timer photo.  That is not what I wanted to do with my face.  Nope.  Too mean looking.

3.  Your author photo is your calling card and you should take it as seriously as you took the work you did on your book.  The author photo is another opportunity to communicate -- say something!  Don't just be pretty, but be pretty, but also like you have something going on in your pretty little head and not so pretty so that people hate you even before they buy the book, but even that wouldn't be a bad thing because controversy sells!

4.  Don't take the author photo too seriously, or you will spend a lot of time and energy on the photo that you should probably be spending on your writing.  You've written just one book.  You've got a career to make now.  Get back to work!

5.  Put vaseline on your teeth.  Play music while you have the shots taken.  Say cheese.  And relax.  (I did none of these things.)  Be proud.  You've already finished your book.  You're at the finish line.

On Being True

"There are things that a woman sings, and only a woman knows the full meaning. You may sing for men as well as for women, but only a woman knows your full meaning. I am not a feminista. I only think a woman should be true to who she believes herself to be. Or who she wants herself to be. Or who she imagines herself to be. I don't know what I mean, or whether I'm true myself to any of that. I don't think there are many of us who are true to our possibilities." - Gayl Jones, The Healing

On Happiness

"To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” --Walter Benjamin

 

Photo Credit 2l3na88 via Flickr

How to Make Aebleskiver

What are aebleskiver?, you ask.  Well, one: they are delicious.  They are not low-cal.  I enjoy them once a year on Christmas day.  You can too.  I've made a little how-to video.  Enjoy!

How to Make Aebleskiver from Heidi Durrow on Vimeo.

Merry Christmas!

It's been a lovely, slow Christmas day.  Ate some aebleskiver and bacon.  Opened presents.  Now, it's nap time.  Hope you have all had a wonderful day too!

Diversity Rocks Challenge: Add Color to Your Reading List in 2009

I have always thought of myself as a diverse reader, but in 2009 I want to take it to a new level.  Blogger Ali at Diversity Rocks is challenging folks to read up to 24 books by authors of color --with the advice of branching out from the well-knowns such as Isabelle Allende, Amy Tan, Jhumpa Lahari, Louise Erdrich, or Toni Morrison.  On my list:  well, actually I have no ideas!  Do you?  I would especially like to read some books that have been translated and books by African and Asian authors!

List Your Self

At the end of the year, I pull out this little book called List Your Self.  It's a book of lists you make about yourself.  I fill out a few and write down the date.  Today, I chuckled when I read the list for this entry:

List all the qualities you love about being human.

foot rubs

kisses

warm drinks in tummy

reading

thumb opposition

baths

family

not being eaten

holiday celebrations

dated: December 19, 2000

On Friendship

“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.” -- Gloria Naylor