"You really are black!"

It's always said (by a black person) with a smile, a wink, and sometimes a pat on the back congratulations.  I admit, for many years, I lived for this moment!  I wanted so desperately to be accepted by the black community.  After much trial and error I learned how to get that acknowledgement.  Strategies that did not work: joining the Black Student Union, spearheading volunteer opportunities in the black community, excelling in linguistic classes on Black English Vernacular (BEV), even becoming a Links debutante.  Sure, my participation in black community events wasn't questioned, but it didn't make me black.  It didn't make me trustworthy for lack of a better word.  Strategies that did work: code words.  If I say in my perfectly rehearsed joking style "what had happened was . . .," as I recount a story, I'm in.  There are other code words but I won't share them here so they won't lose their effectiveness for the other biracials out there who are doing the same thing. The code words get me the comment: "Oh, you really are black! "  (Or if I've said the code words very well then "You really is black."  And we can do our best BEV whether or not that's the way we regularly speak.)  And you know what?  I feel happy.  I'm glad to be trusted; I'm glad the other person is finally comfortable around me.  I'd like so much to give up this practice, but I can't.  Despite the fact that we are living in an Obama world, being biracial is still suspect--of what I'm not sure--and I like for people to be comfortable.  If this is the game I have to play to connect, well, I'll do it.