Light-skinned-ed Girl

A Mocha Baby Nod Award Goes to . . . Ben Affleck and Gone Baby Gone

Today, I saw Gone Baby Gone, the directorial debut of Ben Affleck.  I loved it.  The story of a child abduction in a hard Boston neighborhood is based on a novel, and adapted by Affleck and a co-writer compellingly.  The performances by beloved and known actors Ed Harris and Morgan Freeman are incredible.  Little Brother Casey Affleck drives the film.  He plays the private investigator hired by the family  (not the missing girl's drug-addicted mother played by excellent Amy Ryan) to find the girl.  The film has a solid story and great actors doing what they do best.  [SPOILER ALERT: DO NOT CONTINUE READING IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE FILM'S ENDING.]

Affleck gets a Mocha Baby Nod Award for interracial casting!  The scene showing Morgan Freeman with the little white girl running into his arms --because he's become her new father--is incredibly touching and even more so because it shows an interracial father-daughter connection.  In another scene, we see the girl -- who Freeman's character has abducted -- seated on his lap in a rocking chair while they wait for the police to arrive --Their secret has been exposed.  What is most wonderful about this scene is that I can't imagine anyone thinking: why would that black man think he could father a white child?  We are thinking: isn't it a good thing that the girl has --despite the fact of her abduction--landed in a loving home?!  It doesn't matter that the family is headed by a black man and a white (I'm not sure about the actress-wife's ethnicity) woman.  Congratulations Ben!  You are the recipient of the first Mocha Baby Nod Award!

Letter to a Young Mixed Chick

This week on Mixed Chicks Chat, a weekly podcast I host about being racially and culturally mixed, we wrote letters to young mixed chicks who might need to hear some words of advice from folks who have gone through the difficulties of coming-of-age as a biracial young woman.  Here is the letter I wrote:

Dear Young Mixed Chick:

How old are you now?  Eleven?  Maybe twelve?

You’re growing up so fast.  You wanted Barbies for Christmas just a couple of years ago—yes, I know, the “regular” Barbie not the black one.  I exchanged it, didn’t I?

I tried to talk about what your preference meant then, but I didn’t know how, or even what I wanted you to understand about the choice you made.

 

Now you’re asking for your own computer for Christmas (way out of my budget by the way) so you can keep up with your friends on your own Myspace page.  I still don’t understand the point of that Myspace thing—just goes to show the generational difference.  (“But thanks for the add”—as they say in myspace-ese.)

 

But some things don’t seem to change that much from generation to generation—like  the difficulties that you’ll face now that you’re on the verge of being a teenager.  Yeah, there’s all the “regular” teenage stuff: pimples, angst, and boys!  But there’s something else in the mix for you as a mixed chick –

 

People—and they will be people you barely know or who don’t matter in the grand scheme of things--are going to expect you to choose: What race are you?  Black?  White?  What?

 

I just want you to be ready for the questions—and be ready with an answer like: “I’m black and white and what difference does it make?”

 

Even in this increasingly diverse country, that answer won’t make sense to some people, but I hope that you’ll have the courage to stick with it.  No matter what people think.

 

Your parents haven’t talked to you much about race.  And I don’t really blame them.  How do you talk to a kid about this stuff?  And how do you talk about an experience that you never had?

 

I hope you’ll come to me with questions—I don’t have all the answers but at least you can talk to someone who has gone through some of the same things before growing up mixed.

 

But here are some things I hope you’ll remember-

 

1. No matter what race you “choose,” you are not rejecting one parent or the other.  They love you and want what’s best for you and only want you to be happy.  Believe that.
2. Being biracial makes you no better and no worse than anyone else.  Your racial background has no bearing on your value.
3. You don’t have to choose at all.  Let people call you what they want.  You be true to who you are.  There is no one way to be black or one way to be white.  Just focus on being yourself (and getting good grades—it’s important!).
4. You’re not the first mixed chick in the world.  There’s me; there are my friends Rayme and Victoria and all the other folks out there.  And there’s a whole history of us: writer Nella Larsen, and activist Frederick Douglass and of course there are those current-day celebrities–

   Halle

   , Mariah.  If you have questions, or are confused, or angry or hurt.  Come and talk.  We’re here for you.

 

I love you.  You are a special kid and are growing into a spectacular young woman.  Don’t let other people’s confusion or fixed ideas about race get in the way of you doing what’s best for you.

 

Now, go do your homework.

 

Love,

Heidi