i just learned that i was accepted for another residency at Jentel, an incredible artists' colony in wyoming. it was there that light-skinned-ed girl, the novel, really came together for me--though it took another year for me to complete the final draft. i am very much looking forward to that time away. for me, the artist colony experience is about getting on my own time zone. and most importantly getting some distance from the busy-ness of the world.
i'm re-reading James Baldwin's collection of essays, The Price of the Ticket. in his essay, "the creative process," he writes: "perhaps the primary distinction of the artist is that he must actively cultivate that state which most men, necessarily, must avoid: the state of being alone . . . the state of being alone is not meant to bring to mind merely a rustic musing beside some silver lake. the aloneness of which i speak is much more like the aloneness of birth or death. it is like the fearful aloneness that one sees in the eyes of someone suffering, whom we cannot help."
the passage made me panic! yes, he's right. i crave the alone-time, but i fear it too. it is in the alone-time that i suddenly really pay attention to myself, and my feelings, and then . . . well, then i write about it. but it's a painful process.
of course, i won't be alone alone. i'll be one of six resident artists--all possibly experiencing the same kind of panic. it will be great.
