Light-skinned-ed Girl

Why is this blog called Light-skinned-ed Girl?

I was 11 the first time I heard the term "light-skinned-ed."  (And yes, the kids said it with the extra "ed.")

My family had just moved and we were living in a mostly black community for the first time. Someone had asked me the now-familiar question "What are you?"  I had learned pretty quickly that when people asked they wanted to know what race I was; why did I look the way I did?  "Black and white," I'd said.  "Oh," the girl said, "I thought you were just light-skinned-ed."

It baffled me at the time.

Now, I claim the term as my invitation or pass into black womanhood.  (I say black womanhood specifically because I felt most estranged from black women growing up--even though I wanted so much to belong.)

When I claim my light-skinned-ed-ness, it's not to valorize my skin color, but to accept the way that in some ways I belong to the world of black womanhood.  I can look like this and not have to Prove my allegiance.

Yes, well, then why claim it at all?  Why not be on firm ground and simply identify as a black woman?  Many women -- more light-skinned-ed than I -- have done that through the ages.  The answer is simply that it would negate my actual experience -- it doesn't tell the whole of the story I want to tell.

It's complicated this naming business.  I'm not sure that I've figured it out completely myself. 

A Blog Community and a Sad Loss

I learned this weekend that a healthy, 20-something, avid reader of this blog passed away earlier this year.  A relative, coping with the loss, and the stunning development that authorities now believe the death was a suicide, was looking for a connection to her loved one.  She emailed me with the news.

I didn't know the young woman personally, but her death has hit me very hard.  The young woman found this blog because she was grappling with her Mixed experience.  She was embarrassed to talk with friends about her struggle of trying to figure out where she fit in black or white communities.  She read along for a long time before she ever commented.  And she only commented once.

It's still unclear whether the authorities are right.  I hope they're not.  But it's so difficult to think that maybe she thought her struggle was too difficult--and heart-breaking to think that she thought she was alone.  

A beautiful, curious, and vivacious young woman was lost.  She will be missed.

Hello & Welcome to My Blog

Welcome to my blog, Light-Skinned-ed Girl, a mixed chick's mixed thoughts on a mixed-up world.

Since 2006, I've been writing about the vagaries of race, biracial identity, and the Mixed experience--essentially I write "On the Biracial Thing."

 Some of my favorite (and controversial) posts on those subjects appear here:

• The Family Album is Mixed
• 1st Mixed Race People History Month Kick-off
  
• 2nd Annual Mixed Experience History Month Kick-off
• 3rd Annual Mixed Experience History Month Kick-off
• Mixed Experience History Month Re-Cap & a Pledge to Soldier On
• Did you know that these people were mixed? playwright August Wilson, artist Isamu Noguchi, writer Nella Larsen (black and Danish like me), activist Mildred Loving
  
• Are Those Your Eyes Part 5
• Are Those Your Eyes Part 7

I'm a writer who often blogs about the creative life: moments of inspiration and disappointment.  In 2008, I won Barbara Kingsolver's Bellwether Prize for Literature of Social Change.  My debut novel, The Girl Who Fell From the Sky (Algonquin Books), will be published in February 2010!  (You can pre-order it now.)  The book, a coming-of-age story mixed with a mystery and a love story, was named one of the Top Ten Promising Debuts in Publishers Weekly in June.  Follow my journey from unpublished to published writer as I chronicle each little step along the way.

• My First Book Appearance
• The Advanced Reading Copy of The Girl Who Fell From the Sky is Ready
• I Won the Bellwether Prize!

 Sometimes I write about my travels.  I am lucky to have experienced many adventures.

And sometimes I write about--well, anything that's on my mind.  That was especially true in 2008 when I blogged every single day of the year from wherever I was in the world.

I hope you enjoy the read!

:) heidi

P.S.  If you're looking for more cool stuff, check out my website where you can find more of my writing, or check out the weekly podcast I co-host called Mixed Chicks Chat and then read about the Mixed Roots Film & Literary Festival, an annual free public event, I co-founded and co-produce!

Thoughts on Blogging Every Day for a Year: Part 2

This is it for 2008!  I can't believe I really did it: a blog post for every single day of 2008! It was as difficult as training for and running the marathon and as important to me as writing my book.  And I did it--thanks for joining me on the ride!  As promised, here's a list of some of my favorite posts and hopefully some of yours:

Most Popular Posts (determined by the number of comments/emails)

• Black Mothers of Biracial Children: We Need Your Voices: This post got a few comments initially, but sometime in late October/early November when I was very focused on my book revision deadline the commentary really picked up.  I didn't have the time to reach out to everyone who commented then, but I hope if you're out there, you'll come back again and share more of your thoughts.  I was also particularly touched by the story shared by Shannon in that comment thread.  Shannon--I'm still sending you good thoughts!
• You Really Are Black.   Yup, that post about sums it up for me. 
• Biracial HairInterview with Teri LaFlesh:  Nothing can cause a ruckus like talking about hair and women of color.  I LOVED this interview with Teri.  You will love not only her haircare tips, but her blog.
• Carly Simon is Kind of Black; and More on Carly Simon:  People love Carly Simon.  People are intrigued by her past.  What else can I say?

My Favorite Posts (determined by ME)

• Mixed Experience History Month posts:  Guys, you have no idea how much energy this took out of me.  But I am committed to bringing the history of the Mixed experience to light.  Mixed people and families didn't just happen because of the 1960s Free Love Movement!  May 2009 I will pack this blog with more profiles of the Mixed experience.  Tune in.  Oh, and us chicks of Mixed Chicks Chat will be bringing you 365 Days of the Mixed Minute video-style.  More on that in the coming days!
• Are Those Your Eyes? series: I really liked writing about this.  Because really, where else could I?  The fact that I have light eyes and brown skin is central to my biracial/bicultural identity.  It's like people see the combo and have permission to ask that familiar question: what are you?  My favorite post though was the one about Niece.  Look for more of these in 2009.
• Friendship & Loneliness: This was a post I really didn't mean to write.  But it was during a melancholy phase and it concerned me.  What is required to be a good friend?  I am not certain that I have been one in the last couple of years.  In fact, I have been a selfish bastard with my time--hyper-focused on my writing and the Festival and MCC.  I have "lost" some dear friends I think because of it in the last couple of years--folks who have gone radio-silent on me.  I hope they show up again at some point.  I miss them. 
• Nephew Asks: Obama is Biracial?: The world is changing.  I have to acknowledge it!
• Animal Posts: Pizotes, Lemurs, Cows:  I love the animal posts. 
• The Anniversary of My Dad's Death: A really personal post, but it was all that was on my mind.  I wanted to share with all of you a photo of the handsome man I knew as my father.

Thanks so much for reading.  You guys have been truly awesome.  I may or may not be back tomorrow, but I promise I will be back soon!  This is Light-skinned-ed Girl signing out for 2008.  Bringing in the New Year with a bang!

Thoughts on a Year of Blogging Every Single Day: Part 1

Maybe you guys noticed?  I have posted every single day of 2008! 

I started the task as a New Year's resolution.  I am terrible at New Year's resolutions--like losing the last ten pounds (I've done that three times, maybe this year will be the fourth!), and cleaning out my closets, and those kinds of things.  I really didn't expect that I would follow through with this resolution either--but look at me!  With just one more post to go in 2008, barring any calamity, it looks like I've followed through.

At first, I tried to focus my posts on biracial and bicultural identity.  That's my Light-skinned-ed Girl thing!  And I think I did focus on that topic much of the time--it's the biggest cloud tag for this blog.  I had a lot of help with that thanks to President-Elect Obama's ascension.  Biracial biracial biracial.  Everybody is talking about it now!

But I found that if I was going to write every single day, I had to incorporate all of my me-ness -- the whole writer thing (I know I bored you to death with the whole cow, bug, Wyoming sky thing--but that's all I had), the travel (Costa Rica, Sweden, Denmark, Hawaii, Peru--some of you must have wondered how it was I got so many vacation days), and then all the random stuff: my beloved bendy straws, and Moleskine, many biracial hair posts, and other obsessions.  As I wrote more and more about all of the things that interested or concerned me, I started to make myself more whole.  The blog became more of a public-personal journal--not really an author platform, or a niche site--just a little place folks could go to learn about what was on my mind.  I know: Yawn.  But for me the result was quite powerful.  Because the thing was: you responded!  Yes, I was obsessed with my stats, (which have dwindled to the pre-2008 days again, ah well!) but I was moved by your comments and emails!  Thank you!

I've received so many wonderful messages from people who essentially write that they are glad to have found the blog because it makes them feel less alone in their similar struggles.  Your emails and comments have made me feel the same way.  This year of blogging has made me believe that--however small the "market" is--it is worth sharing the thoughts and ideas that are important to me.

I'm not sure what this blog will look like in 2009.  There is a part of me that wants to take a good long break.  The daily stresses of finding something to say, much less finding a good internet connection (Costa Rican jungle, Macchu Picchu, and strangely: Wyoming!) are stresses I would gladly give up.  But I also don't want to give up my voice.  It's quite used to saying something--anything--now, thank you very much!  But I'm not sure that I'll be weighing in every single day of 2009.

The coming year adds a whole new dimension to my writing life too.  My book, my little book, will finally be on bookshelves in the Fall.  (Did I tell you it's birth date?  October 20, 2009--does that mean it's a Virgo?)  And I've got to get a move on with the next one -- I want to strike while the iron's hot.  So, I have to figure out how the blog fits into what I want for my writing and also for me.

Tomorrow: last post of 2008.  I'll countdown my favorite posts and comments.  Maybe you have some favorites too? 

Black Weblog Awards: Post of Shameless Self-Promotion

It's time for the annual Black Weblog Awards nomination process and in an effort of shameless self-promotion I hope you'll head over to the website and nominate me.  All nominations must be submitted via the website by this Saturday, August 16.  Also, I hope you'll also consider nominating Mixed Chicks Chat, the weekly podcast I co-host, for Best Podcast.  If you haven't had a chance to listen to the show, go ahead and download it for free on itunes.  Happy Voting!

A Real Conversation About My Blogging Muse

Me: Looks like the African-American Smurf post is generating some response.

Husband: What made you write about that?

Me:  Sometimes, when I don't know what to write about I just do searches on things that I like.

Husband: Oh.

Me:  Like, I'll type in one thing and then another thing that may or may not have anything to do with the first thing and then see what comes up.  That day I typed in Smurf and African-American--and that's what I got.  I do weird searches like biracial and bendy straw, or things like Lego and ethnic, or Danish and slave. 

Husband: You do a Google search?

Me: Yeah, but sometimes, with like Danish and slave.  I'll search for the words on ebay.

Husband:  Well, it is an auction site.

Mixed Chicks Mix It Up at Blogging While Brown

Kudos to Gina at What About Our Daughters?  for putting together a great conference--the first ever Blogging While Brown conference for bloggers of color.  I was there with my co-host representing Mixed Chicks Chat.  Our presentation, Podcasting in Conjunction with Your Blog, was well-attended and seemed well-received.  Best of all was meeting the people behind the blogs like Three Brothers and a Sister, Theo and All About Race.  All in all it was a great day--but let me just throw this out there: blogging while brown doesn't just mean black bloggers, right?  And doesn't the internet: blogging, podcasting, social networking, allow us to organize ourselves in different ways than in the real, outside world? 

Blogging While Brown July 25-27 Atlanta, GA

I'm excited to attend the inaugural Blogging While Brown conference in July.  I'll be presenting along with my co-host of Mixed Chicks Chat.  We're doing a workshop on how to do a live, interactive podcast in conjunction with your blog.  The organizers explain the need for the conference this way:

"Whether it's fighting injustice, debating racism in the media, serving as a new technology underground railroad of information or celebrating our best and brightest, bloggers of color are a vital and viable part of the blogosphere who aren't afraid to voice their opinions on a number of subjects. Their readers are willing to mobilize for change. Bloggers of color are at an inflection point in the continued development of the blogosphere."

Hear hear!  I hope we'll see some of you all there! 

Thinking Bloggers

Thank you to Cloudscome for tagging me for the Thinking Blogger Award.  Now, I'm required to tag five bloggers who make me think.  This is only difficult in that I don't get to tag Cloudscome herself who writes wonderful posts about children's books and wonderful wonderful haikus.  Please make sure to read her Langston Hughes haiku.  Okay, here are my five (in no particular order):

1) Twisted Curlz: another mixed chick writer who writes about identity, race and her engagement with life.  She's in the thick of discovery and I'm always happy to read her blog.

2) A Birth Project: another mixed chick actress and student and deep thinker.  Read about her one-woman show about being a transracial adoptee.

3)That Black Girl: an African-American woman married to a white man who lives in my old neighborhood.  She's got a lot to say about race and identity (you can see a theme with the blogs I've picked) that other people won't say.

so enough about race, here are two other favorites that make me tune in in a different way:

4) Wish Jar Journal, a guerilla artist and woo-er of the muse.  She's a visual artist but her insights into the creative life worth living are wonderful.  Plus she encourages play!

5) Chapter XVII: an anonymous friend who has introduced me to some great blogs and books and other things.  You won't be able to guess the particulars of WHO this particular chick is.  She has multitudes and has wonderful insights into the everyday business of life.

According to the meme, all you guys who have been tagged must tag your own five.  Can't wait to see what you all have to say.