Clearly, I've got the Hamilton soundtrack on my mind. But then I was thinking seriously: what would it mean if I could create the best shot for myself? I've always hoped that someone would come around and "discover" me, or take me under their wing, or just cultivate all they saw in me. And I have had that to some extent with my editor, with my hero Barbara Kingsolver, with my friends who have believed beyond belief that I was going to do what I set out to do, and of course, my husband. But at the same time, I guess I have been thinking: where's Oprah? Where's the manager who sees and wants to spend the time and capital on helping me transform from "flygirl" to international superstar? Yeah, these are sad fantasies of "fame" but also it's a fantasy that maybe there is a someone else going as full tilt to making things happen for me as I have for myself. But then again, as I was thinking of those Hamilton lyrics, I thought: have I given myself the best shot? Am I doing all that I can within my control to "make it happen" for myself? Am I going full tilt for myself now? And the answer is no. Very definitely not. I didn't even make the time to finish my new year's resolutions planning. But it's not too late. So maybe I can map out in the next couple of days the clear steps I can take to get me closer to where I want to be in my life. I deserve the best shot -- especially the one that I can give to myself.