telling you will make it more likely that it will happen. but clearly i'm not so sure. if you have followed this blog, do you realize i'm doing a whole different thing. this is really just about first drafts now. it's a true diary -- that's the idea now. i hope you don't know who i am. i just want to say what i think. but i need to say it publicly so that i pay attention. to myself. yeah, weird. but maybe it is working.